Woman Battling Depression Shares Photo Of Her Messy Bedroom With A Deep Message
Chrissie Gaddies, a mother of two shared photos of her messy bedroom on Facebook and wrote;
I was my bedroom yesterday morning. I’m not posting this because I’m proud of it or to be funny. I’m posting this because THIS IS WHAT DEPRESSION LOOKS LIKE. Certainly there are moments when depression looks like crying and all that stereotypical stuff, but this is what everyday life looks like when you are living with major depression. I pull myself together enough to keep my boys alive and taken care of. We don’t miss appointments. We do extracurricular activities. We go to church and to the park. I txt friends to check on them and pay my bills. I do what needs to be done. Everything in the apartment gets cleaned except my room. Not intentionally, it just happens.
I’ve never survived a natural disaster like a tornado or hurricane but I’ve seen the aftermath on TV. People hide in a safe place to ride out the storm and when everything is calm again they come out and see the damage. That’s what living with depression is like for me. I ride it out and then on a day when I wake up and things are good I look around to assess the damage and clean up. And then I wait for the next storm to hit. It could be a day or a few weeks. But it’s always coming back.
I’ve been reading several posts about the recent suicides of celebrities. People have been making these comments about money can’t buy happiness and how success can’t fill voids in your life. Those words are nice, but they aren’t the whole picture. Kate Spade and Anthony B probably loved their work. It probably brought joy and fulfillment to their lives. Just like I love my boys and wouldn’t trade being their mom for anything. Depression doesn’t care. It holds your head under the water until it decides to let go. And sometimes you just get tired of holding your breath.
The people in your life living with major depression don’t look depressed. They get up everyday and present well. They are fighting with everything inside of them to be and feel normal. If you’re looking for someone in a corner crying you’re probably not going to find that.
Just love us where we are. Don’t push us to heal or shame us for taking meds. Don’t tell us all the things that help you when you’re feeling sad. Just love us. Don’t try to do life for us. If you offered to clean my room I would tell you no. Not because of shame or pride but because I know my good day is coming and I know how great it’s going to feel when I can clean my room, or cook dinner, or whatever it is that I haven’t been able to do during the storm.